essay: j. o'neill
Quarantined
Can we move beyond fear, bitching, and pointing fingers?
If nothing else, the quarantine has given us time to slow our thoughts and actions to reflect on what is left after so much has been striped away.
I am usually a go-go-go person. I always have a list of “to do” things, its never ending. I feel at my best, when I am multitasking things on my list. My list still exists today, on my kitchen counter. However, its shorter and includes things like exercise, daily walks, gardening, meditating and journal writing. That alone is a BIG change for me!
The covid-19 quarantine has given me lots of time to think. My thoughts center on two main revelations.
First is the support I have felt from many individuals but mainly my inner circle of friends and family. As recent widow, I was just becoming accustomed to the solitude and silence of living alone in a house way out in the country on 12 acres. But I still had socialization, lunches, parties, meetings and work. Now that has dissolved into emails, texts, and phone calls.
I am blessed to have a supportive family and circle of friends that help shape my day. A daily “good morning” photo is sent by one friend. Another sends an inspirational quote daily. This same friend meets me every evening for virtual euchre. My son, daughter and sister check in most days. And my grandchildren cheer me with weekly visits including sleep overs. (Early on we decided to self-isolate with each other.) As there are many days, I don’t see one human face, this network makes life bearable.
My second revelation is rooted deep my soul. I have never been more aware of the persistence of nature around me. The earth has seen this type of calamitous event more times than we know. Yet she moves forward boldly with the wisdom of eternity.
As I take my daily walks, I am not just hearing the silence of our lives gone still. I hear earth itself speaking in its many languages to me. The song of the birds, the rustle of the brush as a deer browses through. The wind, the rain, and ever-changing landscape a she ushers in spring.
I find a peaceful moment as I sip my coffee and admire how the birds and squirrels can still socialize. All of this has taught me I can survive a day alone without seeing a single human face. Which is so amazing, as I used to panic at the thought of a week-end with out any social plans.
I have allowed the voice of the earth itself with the support of those around me to accept and embrace the solitude of each hour and each day. When the quarantine comes to its inevitable end, I will have taken some giant steps in becoming the best version of myself.
about the author: jan o’neill
Jan O'Neill is a retired Horticulture teacher who works part time as an Inspector for the Ann Arbor Farmers Market in Michigan. She is a mother of 2 and grandmother of 4. She has published 2 children's' books about her beloved Annabelle Alpaca. She lives in the country on a 12 acre farm and enjoys gardening, bird watching, walking and time with family and friends.
