poem: alana hayes

Naked

implies I should be ashamed of my body
of the shape of it
of the way it looks unobstructed
and I am, I do
feel shame.
I’m ashamed of the way my stomach pushes out a little at the bottom
I’m ashamed of the cellulite on my ass
I’m ashamed of the body hair
I’m ashamed of the way my thighs look when they’re flattened out on the seat of a chair
I’m ashamed of my arm fat
I’m ashamed of the way the skin bunches at my armpit
I’m ashamed of the stomach rolls I get when I sit down
I’m ashamed of my body, I feel shame.
But I’m trying to learn not to.
Trying to unlearn magazine photos,
and relearn art
remember my body is real
and not dissimilar to other bodies
So when I look at myself alone in the bathroom mirror
instead of using the word naked I try out the word nude
Because nude implies art and art implies something beautiful
and beautiful is how I aspire to see myself
most especially in the moment when it’s hardest to look.

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about the writer: alana hayes

you can learn more about alana hayes here.