poem: alana hayes

Like Eve

they say i went everywhere, like wind, until you saw me once
that you made me in that instant with your sight
i was NOTHING until you saw me
at least that’s what they tell me

they say i needed your eyes to give me a body
your hands to make me solid
they’re not sure if i even knew how to feel before you
but they doubt it

they argue in whispers around me
but I hear one of them say,
“It’s not possible! The wind isn’t substantial enough to feel anything!”

i thought maybe i did before you
feel, i mean
have a body, i mean
i thought i might have been solid before you touched me
but they’re making me uncertain about all of that now

they say i was made for you
that, like eve, i was pulled right out of your side
made for one purpose
your eyes, your hands

they told me you made me once
so i could make for you forever
that’s what i was for
to be in debt to a service i would never be able to repay

i want you to tell me how you made me
i’m tired of all the metaphors the doctors use as they shuffle around me
i want you to tell me, in detail, how you make someone
so that when it comes time for me to do it i know what i’m doing

you were the first, right?
you came before the womb.
you didn’t even need the womb to make me.
how did you do it?

did you teach my hands to touch just by touching me?
how did you build my mouth, attach the voice box, and pour the words down my throat?
how did you make me solid? how do you teach presence to someone? show me.
walk me through the process.
where did my thoughts come from?
did you crack your skull open like zeus and pour part of me out of there as well?
show me how it’s done.

man, if you’re the god, and i’m mere woman
show me what makes me so much less
show me the miracles you work that i need a womb for

"Sir? Daddy? You like it when i call you that, right?
i’ll be a good girl. i’ll listen.
tell me what to do"

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about the writer: alana hayes

you can learn more about alana hayes here.