personal essay: meliena decuypere
Reveling in the wonder of life (so far)
Five days ago, a post from "write, bitch, write" popped up in my Facebook feed. It asked the reader what the origin of their writing was. I knew I started writing in elementary school, and even what the diary looked like, but what I didn't know is that I started writing nearly 22 years ago.
My first diary entry truly reflects me and my life at the age of 8. It goes like this: "Today I went along with dad to buy breakfast. At two stores, they didn't have chocolate croissants. I just got back home and there was another fight. I had forgotten to turn off the music in my room. At girl scouts, we played army. Byyyeee Meliena"
It was written on September 20th, 1998, and contained several spelling mistakes that I, at an older age, went back to fix (incorrectly, by the way.) Ever since that day, I've kept a diary. As I got older, it became less of a place for the mundane things happening in my life, and more a place where I started processing my thoughts and feelings. I have always saved all my diaries, and I'm so happy I did. It's interesting to read those pages and journey back into my own head at different stages in my life. I see how I desperately tried to fit in when I was in high school, or how I established my circle of friends outside of school. I feel the nervousness and excitement all over again when I was weeks away from moving to Paraguay for a gap year after high school, and see myself slowly realizing who I was when I started college.
As I was reading these diaries, I noticed that not at a single moment in time, did I describe myself as an adult. Even though I had jobs, and a driver's license and stable relationships. I guess adulthood was something that more or less just sneaked up on me.
So now I that I do consider myself an adult, I wonder what changed. I guess there are a number of things that could contribute to this feeling. Two years ago I became an auntie. My older sister gave birth to a beautiful boy, and he is now on his way of become a big brother himself. While I’ve only seen him in person twice, I get lots of videos and photos, and it’s made me realize I also want to have kids at some point in the future. My boyfriend and I moved into an apartment together, which gives me a sense of home life and how to balance it with work. We adopted a dog this past December, and this has taught me how to take care of something that is not myself. These are all things I didn’t have to consider before, and it’s made me mature more than I thought.
While I don’t write as often as I used to anymore, I still do, and I don’t think that I’ll ever stop. I’m sure that in 20 years’ time or so, I’ll look back at the things I wrote down when I was 30 and smile, thinking how easy life was. I’ll think of all the times writing helped me process life, as well as the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with it. And I’m sure that, just like when I did when I opened my first diary and read the first entry, I’ll revel in the wonder that has been my life so far.
about the writer: meliena decuypere
Meliena is a Boston transplant from Ghent, Belgium. She is adventurous, which reflects in both her hobbies and her work. She enjoys reading, singing and photography and has an insurmountable love for dogs and travel.
While in Boston, she has worked as an ESL-teacher, an activities coordinator and currently works at the Harborside Hotel. She will try her hand at anything you throw at her and loves learning new things.
