poem: B B

Not You

I am alone
It's been nine months since I was alone last
Nine months of you

Nine months of you laughing in my ear, asking me about my day, and trying to make me watch that one movie you said you thought I would like
But I sit in my new kitchen and I wonder
Why do I have the overwhelming urge to cry?

The silence is deafening
If I am lucky I will be able to hear my racing heartbeat pulsing throughout my body
But I don’t

I am alone for the first time in almost a year and my ears ring as I move throughout my apartment
There's so much...silence, but it’s so loud
It is loud, perhaps angry, and decides to remind me that I am alone

I have things I have to do
Like listening to my breakfast being made
But it distracts me

I hear it
Nothing, yet everything
Nothing, but especially not you